Where is your heart?

oxford american dictionary:

a hollow muscular organ that pumps the blood through the circulatory system by rythmic contraction and dilation.

since when, since when did we begin to refer to this hollow muscular organ, as being the center of our emotions, moral, and "love".

and who took the image from:

to:

further more, i want to believe the best in people. however no matter how "pretty" we try to make our heart appear to be "...out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." (matthew 15:19)

of course "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. (luke 6:45)"

however, this heart game, it truly comes across as a sketchy see-saw that you attempt to seek balance on but so easily, often get DROPPED (you know exactly the feeling of getting dropped when you used to play on the see-saw...)

Regardless of how often or easily it can happen...it's always a surprise. Hello? Quite possibly the reason behind that sudden DROP, is because we are not putting our FULL heart in God as we've been told and instead choose to play some weird balance games.

We are told to put our full heart in God, but we choose to put it in stuff, situations, people (friends, family, and lovers), places, homes, etc. and we get dropped in many different forms. It only hurts our own self.

I guess...i just wish we could all get it together, get over ourselves (me included), and all place our hearts - the core of everything we are - fully in Him. Our hopes, dreams, ideas, creativity, talents, minds, thinking patterns, our whole selves in Him. That way we don't have to deal with fear of man. Then, we could all get on with it and live our lives to the fullest.

I'm nothing spectacular, but much of my life I have felt I've struggled against other's comparing themselves to me, and when that happens I cease functioning correctly. I shut down. Healthy, fun competition, bring it on. Full out comparison...no no no. I have over and over again: run away. Has it ever made me feel better about myself...I don't think so...in fact I usually come out asking the question "Why me??" more and more. I want to live my life to the fullest and not think about offending any one else, because they are trying to play a balance game with me. Don't you? Just live, you and God. That's romance. :) I think we can all do it.

That's why I am trying to start a new initiative within myself, that when I feel people around me are trying to play a balancing/comparison game with me, I won't any longer run. No more retreating, but confrontation: healthy, God-fearing, not man-fearing, battle. Because my battle is "not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, I may be able to stand my ground, and after I have done everything, I will stand."

I think it's a battle we all need to engage in, for ourselves and for others. We need to fight for our own hearts, and for the hearts of others. To all place them in the right hands, and not the hands of each other.

Where is your heart?

A wise proverb

¹⁸ The path of the righteous is like the morning sun,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
¹⁹ But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know what makes them stumble.

I was reading through Proverbs the other day on my commute into the city. This passage leaped out at me.
"This sounds pretty cliche. ...but the same time it's rich in meaning and substance."

Oh you book of Wisdom, Proverbs, you make me question. Do I feel like my daily decisions are leading to a brighter day?
If not...why not? Where am I not seeking God?

His wisdom and understanding is infinite.

Within the book of Proverbs you often hear mention of "laziness"...maybe not for you...but for me I think it's laziness that is atleast part of the gateway to lack of pursuit to Godly wisdom in all matters. Not to "over spiritualize" (at the same not being fearful of overspirtualizing), we must fight ourselves and maybe some fear of others and pursue Godliness with "all our heart, all our mind, and all our strength"!

If you have ever or even now believe there is no rhyme, reason, wisdom to the Kingdom of Heaven for the followers of Christ then you've been duped into deep darkness that will only cause great and regretful stumbling in your life and thereafter. In our heart of hearts, we know what we need to do. We know that we need to and we know how to pursue God with all of our heart, mind, soul. So let's just do it.

Sadie Hawkins Miette McFly

Sadie (meaning): Princess

Hawkins: In honor of Relient K's "Sadie Hawkins" song.

Miette (meaning): Little one/pearl

McFly: In honor of the movie "Back To The Future"

Since she was the runt of her litter, originally I was going to name her simply Sadie Miette ("Little Princess"), but pop culture was so influential, I had to throw in the "Hawkins" and the "McFly". That's the story behind the choosing of the name. (Who knew that??)

Sadie was puppy to Amber, the Golden Retriever my family got my mom one Mother's Day. When Amber had to be put down just over a year or two ago (because of a tumor), it kind of felt like Amber's legacy lived on through Sadie.

Sounds a bit silly talking about "legacy", when referring to a dog, I know. It is. But on the same note if you've never owned a good dog than I don't expect you to relate to the experience. And that's Ok. :)

Sadie was put down over this past weekend, due to multiple health reasons. However no matter how many "health reasons" she was suffering through at the end, multiply that by about a billion and that's how good of a dog she was.

She was EXTREMELY goofy, scared of things like laundry hampers, trash cans, and so much more (regardless of her acting "tough"). I sometimes called her "Sweet Sadie", because that was pretty much her personality.

She was "legally" my dog, but when I moved out in 2005, one of my mom's first statements to me - in love of course - was "You can't take Sadie..." From then on she was my mom's/my dad's dog. :) (my dad will say more the latter than anything else).

This is not meant to be sad or "serious". Simply since I have a blog, I have the time, and we had a good dog, I thought I'd just make a little eulogy. If you have your own family dog or family pet, take some time after reading this to give it a treat, a tap on the head, or some sort of pet-owner-love. :)

Pet dogs are such a unique creation by God. "Man's best friend" :)

Proverbs 12:10

"The righteous care for the needs of their animals..."

Your Primary Search Engine

The other day in the subway an advertisement plastered across the top of the train caught my eye:

Automatically, of course, this image flashes to my mind:

(disclaimer: not my pictures, not trying to steal them,

wouldn't want to claim them as my own anyway just using them as an example.)

Ok, so first of all, no I don't think they are "blasphemers" or should be "persecuted" for stealing an idea that was used as such a trendy late 90's statement piece. The bracelet and acronym were trendy, the statement/question made: ETERNALLY RELEVANT.

What strikes me as interesting is the relevance and truth of the replacement of the "J" to "Google" in view of these recent years. I think their sales/marketing and PR agents got it right... Fads come and go, unfortunately the bracelet and acronym was quite a fad to be had in the late 90's, but now in the late 00's it's not Christ who people are turning to for answers (if they ever were), it's now GOOGLE that people are turning to for answers.

Let that sink in:

It's now GOOGLE people are turning to for answers.

Is that completely evil? No. Of course not. I'm still gonna use google's search engine. "What is the definition of...", "Directions to...", "How many tablespoons are in a cup?"

Of COURSE God gives us tangible means to receive answers, I believe He can even speak to us through Google searches if He wants :) "SO what's the big deal Tammy??" Well I'm thinking...the big deal is who are we turning to FIRST? and then who are we trusting in FULLY? We should always SEEK first the Kingdom of God, we should always TRUST the Lord God with all our hearts and lean not on our own world's understanding. "How to talk to my kids about...", "What to do in the midst of recession?", "What to think about war in the middle east?", "What are the pro's and con's of..."....

Sure you can take those questions to Google, but I would challenge all of us to first take those questions - big or small - to Christ. If He then leads you to look through scripture you might want to consider that! :) Or if He leads you to a book...a friend...your mom...you might want to consider that. If He leads you to a massive search engine with answers from all kinds of cultures, world views, ideologies...OK then with all of the above go WITH God through the whole process in seeking the answer.

You get my flow?

WHO IS YOUR PRIMARY SEARCH ENGINE?

Church! Family Fall Fest 2010

This past weekend Andreas and I helped out with our church's annual Family Fall Fest. Taking over one park on Saturday and another on Sunday (in two different areas of our neighborhood).

Over the two days we had just over 250 kids and families show up for the festivities. Doing things such as pumpkin carving, goodies, and games.

Here I am drawing up the sign for the day's sack races.

Andreas busy making balloons for the kids.

Katrina (who I'm often working with at the Church's café) doing face painting for the kids.

Sack RACE!! The kids were great, even when they were falling over each other.

Playing carnival games, such as bean bag toss and Fat Cat.

Many parents and passer-by's asked "What's going on?", "This is FREE!?", "Who's putting this on??", "This was really great!" "It's a good thing you're doing here."

Hopefully we'll have some new comers or visitors to church, but even more than that hopefully people were some how touched and effected by our attempt in trying to show God's love by doing something for the community.

Husband's Birthday

October 2nd! ~Andreas' bday!~

We had a full day on Andreas birthday. He ran a Half-Marathon at the Norwegian Festival at Central Park (NYC).

Where we were surprised to find that MADCON performed, yes! Even their great break-beat "Beggin"!!

We went to Governor's Island for the craziest game of mini-golf I've ever played (Noooo organization what so ever!...but it was free!)

Then we FINALLY went to ChinaTown. (Ever since we moved here Andreas had been dying to go there for some Chinese food).

We topped the night off with a movie & cake. :)

Libby's Wedding

Andreas and I traveled down to VA via bus to show our love and support for Libby's big day. (I did scripture reading and helping with the book signing table, while Andreas directed parking traffic) ;) It was so good to be at her wedding!! I feel I've missed so many big days in many of my friends' lives because of traveling and ministry, but God knows! (the biggest day of our lives will one day come and I know I'll be there for that one!)

Here's a few of my fav's from the pics that I took at Libby's wedding weekend. September 24-25.

Libby & I have been joking about starting a wives club! :) First meeting coming soon - details pending. ;)

nyc with mom

Day one of mom's visit was consumed by our dancing/Broadway Blessing event. Which you can check out the vid on my previous post.

Day TWO: Included Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Batman movie set, WTC (no pictures from WTC sorry)...

Andreas proud of the Norwegian Copper used to build Miss Liberty.

After leaving Liberty Island and Ellis Island we stumbled upon the set of Batman!

Day THREE: Included Rockefeller Center, Grand Central Terminal, Junior's, Central Park, and WEST SIDE STORY! (guess which part was my favorite?)

Galavanting around Rockefeller Center.

Lunch at Grand Central Terminal, followed by us devouring delicious NY style cheesecake at Juniors.

Forever21 in Time Square, had a pretty impressive advertisement display, which included pre-recorded model's taking pictures of people passing by on the street in real time? Crazy? check it out:

This was the pic I took of the huge display screen. That's us in the pic she's holding!! (and a few other street walkers....)

Finally....

Yeah!

Day FOUR:

Which I don't have pics of got even more exciting....

My mom and I rode bikes around Prospect Park.

Andreas and I went to work at the cafe, and then the TORNADO HIT!

While at the cafe the winds suddenly picked up, the sky went black/green, and rain was falling horizontally. Trees were down on almost every block! Fortunately no major injuries, except for one death :( Weather experts said with absolutely no warning it's amazing that there weren't more casualties.

Day FIVE: We scurried over to Brooklyn Bridge Park before my mom had to fly off again.

At Brooklyn Bridge Park

This was the crazy line waiting for some famous Grimaldi's Pizza, located under the bridge. There's ALWAYS a crazy line for Grimaldi's! Side note: girl in pink shirt - NOT me. haha.

Needless to say the week was very eventful. After working at the US Open for two weeks, then the eventful week with my mom I was tired. :) Work has been up and down, last week was a very FULL work week, but this week has been extremely slow.

Last weekend we did make it up to VA for the weekend for Libby's wedding so many some pictures soon for that too!

Want to see some DANCE!?

Hey guys~ I know I've been "bad" by not posting more updates! It's a bit out of control how long it's been.

Here's a nice vid from us performing with Project Dance at the annual "Broadway Blessing" event (Monday, September 13th). Kudos to my mom for filming with my little digital camera (she had just arrived for a one week visit to NYC, that afternoon!).

Every year a "Broadway Blessing" is held at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. It's very interesting...because although it may sound very christianese the actual event is a group of "spiritual" people coming together asking for "God's" blessing.... Everyone in Project Dance is sold out for Jesus of course, but other groups invited or involved in this particular event included Christian Scientists, a Jewish Rabbi, and other mixed faiths who believe there is a "God" but not necessarily a Saviour.

The event went very diplomatically, and professional. Several artists from Broadway performed. And of course....Project Dance got to point to Jesus! :) Check it out...

(A pic of us after the show.)

BUSY week

What a CRAZY week!?

Have you ever experienced the following: Everything is at a lull, a bit of a stand still. Thing are happening, but it just seems pretty sloooow...then...BAM. BUSY. BUSY. BUSY.

For me that was this past week (August 30-September 5).

Starting Monday the 30th, I began work the catering company who are working the US Open event! :) We are the people behind the scenes serving all the high rollers, tennis club members, and a few lucky winners who win a chance to be served like high rollers. :) It's been a great experience, but kept me busy ALL week.

This weekend (Saturday & Sunday) I've been behind the scenes at an off Broadway show. Check it out: Tigers Be Still

Nothing too crazy, a very small production - only four actors. Never the less, it's been good doing helping with minor costuming endeavors and "rigging" costumes.

Now going a little bit back in time...Here's some pictures from last weekend (August 28th & 29th). Andreas and I enjoyed a stroll on our fold-up bicycle (Andreas sat in the seat and peddled, while I hung on the back and sat on the extra piece over the tire). :)

The Brooklyn Bridge Park. It's such a nice park! It's not big (yet - they are adding on quite a bit!) Here's some pics to see for yourself.

fearless leaders rise up

II Timothy:

⁶For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. ⁷For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

⁸So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, ⁹who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.

ITimothy 4:

¹⁴Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

¹⁵Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. ¹⁶Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

Often time music speaks to me, not just he music...but I truly believe God likes to use music to speak to me. Because I get it. As an artist it's one of my languages. (Of course, it's not just artists, but most people can relate to music easily.) Has God spoken to you through music...? Listen harder... ;)

Tonight I was listening to Natasha Bedingfield's Wild Horses, here's a youtube w/ lyrics:

Now I believe this song correlates very closely to God's call on our life when it comes to following Him. Think about what Christ asked the disciples to do: "Follow me." Even telling one man, to "let the dead bury the dead". He told them leave everything you know, as Natasha sings "Throw caution into the wind..."

Also look at what is spoken to Timothy through Paul. Devote yourself wholly: fully, completely. To not be afraid. Not be lead by the spirit of timidity but by the spirit of God: power, love, self discipline. Like Natasha sings "If only that someone was me, jumping head first, head-long, without a thought."

RECKLESSLY pursuing the calling Christ has placed over your life.

How often do we - as humans - not do what we feel God is calling us to out of fear. Not obeying God or holding back out of fear is just the same as neglecting the gift. Just the same as not being diligent in the things of God. Just the same as holding back and not giving yourself wholly to Him.

We when we operate in fear and neglect our calling through Christ, we end up in a place, that Natasha is talking about: "Is this my life I'm wondering, it happened so fast how do I turn this thing around. Is this the bed I chose to make, there's greener pastures I'm thinking about, wide open spaces far away..." We end up in a place that is much worse, than facing our fears.

WHY? Why drive yourself to that point. I've done it. I've gotten into my comfort zone, every day I get into my comfort zone and my routine. I remember on my outreach to Vanuatu I walked up to a random lady in the street and said "Hi, my name is Tammy. I feel like God wants me to pray with you, would you mind?" Ummm...now, if I saw a lady in the street I felt God wanted me to pray for I'd probably run the other way, and pretend like I didn't see her!

I think one thing that helps me to step a bit out of this worldly fear, is a bit of what Paul mentions...he says don't neglect your gift. He says "not because anything we've done but because of His own purpose and grace." It's a gift, it's His own purpose, it's His grace. It's not about us, therefore what do we have to fear.

If I'm out with a friend and she wants to ask somebody something, there's something that rises up in me. If she's too shy to ask, a boldness rises up in me on her behalf, because she is my friend I want to help her out. I can easily ask something of someone on her behalf without fear, because it's not about ME and it's about helping my friend. I think in life, daily, we need to remind ourselves of that. It's not about ME, it's about God. What does He need done in His Kingdom today? To act, to ask, to operate on HIS behalf, and live life in that manner, I believe that can lift an enormous weight of fear which so easily hinders us. It's not about us. We need to RECKLESSLY abandon life for our own sake, and live for Him.

I believe we need leaders to rise up like the disciples, dropping everything: their livelihood, work, family, land, EVERYTHING. We need leaders like Timothy, who let go of the fears of this world/culture and stepped out into the place God was calling him. They understood it. It wasn't about them.

Any "elders" out there, lay hands on the coming generation. Lay your hands on them and pray that God would increase the call, increase the gift. That there would not be a spirit of fear that entraps, but the Spirit of God that brings reckless freedom in His Kingdom.

I leave you with Natasha's words:

"RECKLESSLY ABANDONING MYSELF BEFORE YOU (Lord) I WANNA OPEN UP MY HEART AND TELL HIM HOW I FEEL"

Rise up fearless leaders!

A Week Translated into Pictures

FRIDAY NIGHT (20th):

We checked out the ROOTS CAFE owned and run by Jamey Hamm, on 5AVE & 15TH St. If you're in Brooklyn/Park Slope area this is definitely a cafe to check out. We got to chill at the cafe, listen to music, and meet up with our friend Chris - who I staffed DTS at the same time with back in 2005. (Check out the cafe's website for d's: Root's website)

SATURDAY:

We were invited to a party held in a loft apartment. The apartment was deemed "the best kept secret in South Slope", because of it's size and setup. Above pic. : live art. The artist grabbed random party attendees, had them pose, and painted the outline on their face, layer upon layer of faces. I heard the painting was possibly sold by the end of the night.

Live music - 3 bands, and after we left we heard a dj played. The bands had a projector back up their backdrop, some anime, some random pics, some random clips melded together, etc.

More art...not "live art", but art.

Jamey's band The Spectacle's gave a grooving, blue grass/funk with a 1940's style, slammed with some punk/rock. Very fun. Very good.

SUNDAY:

(No picture....) :(

But we did go to church, Andreas joined the worship team by playing the jimbe.

MONDAY:

Spent time praying for GODLY LEADERS RISE UP! in every sphere of society. Science, Government, Education, Arts/Sports, Media, Church, Family, and Economics. Join in every Monday by praying or fasting or however God leads you.

TUESDAY:

Regardless of the Brooklyn/NYC constant drizzle...we set off in the morning for Bay Ridge. The area of Brooklyn that had potential (back in the day) to become "Little Norway". Now the Norwegians who live here either moved here 40/50 some years ago. We checked out Nordic Delicacies (website). A shop opened and run by Helene, who stocks up with various chocolates, knick-knacks, porridge, norwegian cheese - even BROWN CHEESE! woohoo.

The park that gives tribute to Norwegian explorer Liev Ericson who found the USA back in 1000 BC (but was beaten off by the indians - so has the rumor).

Tuesday evening per usual, I attended Contemporary/Modern with Michael Thomas and Andreas attended Ballet with Finis Jhung at the Alvin Ailey dance center.

WEDNESDAY:

We strolled over to Ikea after I realized the sheets I had for our guest sleeper sofa...SHRUNK! Yes, the shrunk. So we bought new sheets, and I found this sweet lantern for just under $5! yay!

Also we went to Atmosphere to practice for an upcoming performance on September the 13th.

THURSDAY:

After working at Postmark Café, we went to an outdoor movie event! They only happen here in the summer, so this was probably our last chance to go. Which means it's our only time attending one of the NY outdoor movie events. VERY well worth it!! (it was a free event at the Brooklyn Bridge Park)

Nice sunset, sweet sail boats!

Dun, dun-dun-dun, dun, dun-dun... Indiana Jones!

Me and the Mr.

post the movie. Pier 1 at the Brooklyn Bridge Park is beautiful, to just chill, hangout, picnic, if you live in the area and you haven't check it out yet....what are you doing? ;)