Sunday, September 22, 2013
Be the Mouth-Piece
My dear friend Crystal - who has become a part of my family - always includes in her email as apart of her signature/sign-off at the bottom of her emails:
"The artist's function is perpetually to be the voice and conscience of his time.--Jose Limon"
Maybe Jose Limon did or did not realize the implications of his quote, but as for me - a Believer, Co-Creating with God in this God-Given life I realize that being an artist is being a mouth-piece of the Lord. The Prophets written about in the Bible, people often refer to them as a mouth-piece of the Lord. Let's be honest, the prophets...they were a bit weird. I've shared this before and I'll say it again: in Ezekiel the Lord asked him to put on a show of sorts.
Ez. 5
“1. And you, O son of man, take a sharp sword. Use it as a barber's razor and pass it over your head and your beard. Then take balances for weighing and divide the hair. 2 A third part you shall burn in the fire in the midst of the city, when the days of the siege are completed. And a third part you shall take and strike with the sword all around the city. And a third part you shall scatter to the wind, and I will unsheathe the sword after them. 3 And you shall take from these a small number and bind them in the skirts of your robe. 4 And of these again you shall take some and cast them into the midst of the fire and burn them in the fire. From there a fire will come out into all the house of Israel.
5 “Thus says the Lord God: This is Jerusalem..."
He wasn't using words, he wasn't in the closet of his home praying about this, Ezekiel had to actually go out in the middle of the city and put on this show. It was a proclamation about the state of Jerusalem blatant rebellion and how the Lord was going to openly make an example of them to the nations around them because of their CONSTANT hundreds of years of rebellion.
Let's be honest, when you see an "artsy" person you often call them "artsy" because they're a little bit odd. I can imagine how ODD/weird/artsy the local Jews must have viewed Ezekiel parading around chopping pieces of his beard around the city.
I think as artists and believers we are called to be the mouthpiece of the Lord to our culture and time we are in. No matter how weird it is. How opposite of the norm of the current culture, because those who lose their lives to what the world believes as "proper" will find their lives in eternal perspective with Christ.
It's difficult, it's frustrating, it's not always pleasant going against the grain of this culture. People will accuse you of being judgmental, unloving, weird, ignorant, foolish. Sometimes you'll need to speak back against those accusations in love, and sometimes you'll need to just smile and turn the other cheek.
The glory of it is, if we truly seek the Kingdom first in this and keep the overflowing, abundant, patient Love of the Lord central in our hearts, we can have peace in knowing that it will all pay off in the Grande Scheme, in the Big Picture of Eternity. Because the fact is there is more than just this life that we live on this planet, we have something to look forward to and that's what we work towards and what we rest in.
Until then, Lord help me to be apart of the "foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose [this] weak [thing] of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things - and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so that" not even I can boast before You. Keep me bold in you alone. That I would "be bold & very courageous" to share who You Are, and don't let me forget "if the world hates [me]...it hated [you] first." that I do not belong to this world. But instead I MUST testify of who I am with and who I represent - Christ in me the hope of Glory.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Joshua walking in Faith and Works
The Joshua Generation - in the Arts.
This brain-blurp is long over due for my blog. And believe me it is a big blurp...so strap in.
In 2006, Maria Jackson - who I consider a Moses of the performing arts. Maria - is one of the one's who has pioneered the way for arts to even be an option, especially in the christian circles. It was only what...19--. Well we'll leave that blank...all we need to know it was quite some time ago when arts was looked at as "demonic" and reserved for the "secular" world and us christians shouldn't be playing things like guitars! or twirling around unless it was in a Jewish grapevining circle.
So back to what I was saying - in 2006 Maria prayed over me and asked for the anointing of Joshua.
What does the Joshua anointing look like? I think it is an anointing that bridges one generation to the next-next generation. I believe it is an anointing that takes a younger generation into a place (promised land) that the Moses generation saw only in their visions and dreams, from a distance. I believe it is an anointing that gets to fight great "battles" against evil and take land that was once used for evil, and in turn use it for GOOD/righteousness (the Glory of the Lord). I believe it is a pretty epic anointing to walk in. And obviously it's not just for me but I think it is an anointing on my generation.
...but I also believe it is a pretty darn AWKWARD anointing to walk in. Here's the thing, you have the Moses generation before you and the next-next generation after you.
The Moses generation who you got to walk under, learn from (learn from their failures and their feats). You got to see major miracles - or impossible things happen - take place through them. You get to meet with the Lord at a mature level because you get to meet with the Lord with the mature Moses leaders. You get to hear their stories first hand of amazing miracles of how God brought them into a place of using dance or using music for some of the first times it was ever used in a "Christian" circle and as a christian in a secular circle. You also get to experience some of those first time events with them. You get to walk out in some areas with a little more ease, because they did some of the difficult part already for you.
The next-next generation who are gonna be like ninjas - extremely skilled. They have a lot of extreme talent, because they get to focus deep into that area of talent because they don't have to worry about making a way for their talents....they just have to walk out their God-given skill. They get to live and train in the promised land. The promised land being a place flowing with milk AND honey...in other words it is a very rich land (I believe in both spirit and craft). They'll get to take things farther and faster than we could ever imagine. And they'll get to do it all for the glory of God...because by then that is an automatic understanding that the skill and the spirit are not seperate, but that is all if they don't get caught up in the glory of self.........
Where's the Joshua generation....right smack in the middle of that.
Just look at Joshua in the Bible. It was an awkward - it was an amazing life - but it was an AWKWARD life he had to walk out. He was always on the move, even when the Israelites began settling the land he still never got to fully settle down. He had to watch his entire generation die off because they refused to enter the promised land. So he had to wait around for the next generation. He understood the Moses in a way the next-next generation never did because Joshua got to sit under him for years, but Joshua also understood the next-next generation in a way Moses never did. Joshua was always fighting and conquesting. Always battling for the sake of completing the vision the Moses generation had and for the sake of the next-next generation to get to settle in a way Joshua would only get to imagine. He was never fully one type of person (the dessert wanderer) but he was never fully another type of person (the one that got to settle and live in the land all the days of their lives). He was smack in the middle of two types.
The awkward middle child. Sure we do have a luxury of not having to fight the same battles that the Moses generation had to fight and that Moses had to fight alone...but we have to step out from Moses and the the small but mighty team that Moses has gathered together and go spy out the land. In many ways...alone. Bringing reports back to the group whether the land is ready to be taken or not, and hoping that the group will be brave enough to take the land when it is ready. Joshua is not fully apart of the priesthood in the same way Moses and Aaron are, but we understand the priesthood. We are not fully apart the excellent craftsmanship that the next generation gets to walk out in, but we understand it. We are finishing off what Moses pioneered, and we are conquering the final pieces of the land for the next generation to settle. We don't get to fully settle in the land, but we are not constantly wandering like Moses - what a privilege and honor to get to experience two amazing types of generations. But... We are a special half-and-half breed.
Do you get the picture I'm painting yet? It's an awkward time for the Joshua generation. When I read about Joshua in the bible I can't help but to think how cool/awesome/amazing his anointing was, but I also can't help but realize .... "Man, that's awkward."
In the arts I see the awkwardness play out like this:
Often...not always...but often, you have an extremely skilled artist who their character/relationship with the Lord is strugglin'. Or you have someone who is EXTREMELY in love with Jesus has a deep relationship with Him but their skill and craft is strugglin'. Both have good intensions with the area they are strugglin' in and both usually are dissatisfied/disappointed because of the area they are struggling in.
Again this is not a Cookie-Cutter happening, but I think it is fairly common.
The extremely skilled artist who does truly love the Lord, has been able to train, train, train, but it has been lonely because a lot of the people who they trained with did not understand this "christian" thing. They also have not gotten to walk under deep discipleship because there was limited access in their artist world, limited access for mentorship - someone who could pour into them spiritually. Their environment hasn't been in a place where they were encouraged to focus on their character. Not that they have horrible character...But they haven't gotten to spend a good "dessert" season studying the word, in the prayer room, weekly even daily one-on-one spiritual mentorship. Why? Because they were busy honing their skill/craft, but lonely because their connection to Godly mentorship was extremely limited. Hear me now, it's not an all bad they were busy honing the gifts God had created within them....but they have had no option but to "neglect" their relationship with the Lord and Godly mentorship.
The extremely Jesus-lovin' artist has been blessed to spend hours in the prayer room, studying the bible, walking under weekly even daily one-on-one mentorship, but they too have experienced loneliness. Loneliness because even though they were surrounded with people who spiritually understood them and could pour into them in that way, they have had limited access to the people who could pour into their skill/craft at a higher level. Not that they have horrible technique in their craft...but they have not gotten to spend a good season training, training, training, why? Because they were busy doing ministry and spending time doing "Jesus-stuff", and their access to teachers in their craft was extremely limited. Hear me now, it's not an all bad thing that they were focusing on their relationship with the Lord and Godly mentorship...but they have had no other option but "neglect" honing the gifts that God has created them with.
-Insert: Faith without works is dead. Works without faith...is just work. -
This has been the beginnings of the Joshua generation, one half a person and the other half of the person.
But I think the two can become one. I believe that you can be a person who trains, trains, trains in your skill and in your character and relationship with the Lord at the SAME TIME. Simultaneous honing your craft/skill and honing your walk/relationship with the Lord. THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHOOSE. You can be studying the bible, while doing your tendus and/or scale progressions?!!! That's not craziness. We don't need to walk around as: half of me is a strong artist and this half of me is a struggling Jesus follower. Or this half of me is a strong Jesus follower and this half of me is a struggling artist. We can do BOTH. We can be fully understood. Fully understood as an artist and fully understood as a Jesus-lover. A person of FAITH and WORKS.
Joshua generation...you may feel awkward now but a day is coming...and the day is here. The Kingdom is coming and the Kingdom is here. What is right in front of you is not reality, let's walk in the Kingdom reality that says it is coming and it is here. Let's walk in that. Even though it's awkward. Let's walk in Faith and Works.
This brain-blurp is long over due for my blog. And believe me it is a big blurp...so strap in.
In 2006, Maria Jackson - who I consider a Moses of the performing arts. Maria - is one of the one's who has pioneered the way for arts to even be an option, especially in the christian circles. It was only what...19--. Well we'll leave that blank...all we need to know it was quite some time ago when arts was looked at as "demonic" and reserved for the "secular" world and us christians shouldn't be playing things like guitars! or twirling around unless it was in a Jewish grapevining circle.
So back to what I was saying - in 2006 Maria prayed over me and asked for the anointing of Joshua.
What does the Joshua anointing look like? I think it is an anointing that bridges one generation to the next-next generation. I believe it is an anointing that takes a younger generation into a place (promised land) that the Moses generation saw only in their visions and dreams, from a distance. I believe it is an anointing that gets to fight great "battles" against evil and take land that was once used for evil, and in turn use it for GOOD/righteousness (the Glory of the Lord). I believe it is a pretty epic anointing to walk in. And obviously it's not just for me but I think it is an anointing on my generation.
...but I also believe it is a pretty darn AWKWARD anointing to walk in. Here's the thing, you have the Moses generation before you and the next-next generation after you.
The Moses generation who you got to walk under, learn from (learn from their failures and their feats). You got to see major miracles - or impossible things happen - take place through them. You get to meet with the Lord at a mature level because you get to meet with the Lord with the mature Moses leaders. You get to hear their stories first hand of amazing miracles of how God brought them into a place of using dance or using music for some of the first times it was ever used in a "Christian" circle and as a christian in a secular circle. You also get to experience some of those first time events with them. You get to walk out in some areas with a little more ease, because they did some of the difficult part already for you.
The next-next generation who are gonna be like ninjas - extremely skilled. They have a lot of extreme talent, because they get to focus deep into that area of talent because they don't have to worry about making a way for their talents....they just have to walk out their God-given skill. They get to live and train in the promised land. The promised land being a place flowing with milk AND honey...in other words it is a very rich land (I believe in both spirit and craft). They'll get to take things farther and faster than we could ever imagine. And they'll get to do it all for the glory of God...because by then that is an automatic understanding that the skill and the spirit are not seperate, but that is all if they don't get caught up in the glory of self.........
Where's the Joshua generation....right smack in the middle of that.
Just look at Joshua in the Bible. It was an awkward - it was an amazing life - but it was an AWKWARD life he had to walk out. He was always on the move, even when the Israelites began settling the land he still never got to fully settle down. He had to watch his entire generation die off because they refused to enter the promised land. So he had to wait around for the next generation. He understood the Moses in a way the next-next generation never did because Joshua got to sit under him for years, but Joshua also understood the next-next generation in a way Moses never did. Joshua was always fighting and conquesting. Always battling for the sake of completing the vision the Moses generation had and for the sake of the next-next generation to get to settle in a way Joshua would only get to imagine. He was never fully one type of person (the dessert wanderer) but he was never fully another type of person (the one that got to settle and live in the land all the days of their lives). He was smack in the middle of two types.
The awkward middle child. Sure we do have a luxury of not having to fight the same battles that the Moses generation had to fight and that Moses had to fight alone...but we have to step out from Moses and the the small but mighty team that Moses has gathered together and go spy out the land. In many ways...alone. Bringing reports back to the group whether the land is ready to be taken or not, and hoping that the group will be brave enough to take the land when it is ready. Joshua is not fully apart of the priesthood in the same way Moses and Aaron are, but we understand the priesthood. We are not fully apart the excellent craftsmanship that the next generation gets to walk out in, but we understand it. We are finishing off what Moses pioneered, and we are conquering the final pieces of the land for the next generation to settle. We don't get to fully settle in the land, but we are not constantly wandering like Moses - what a privilege and honor to get to experience two amazing types of generations. But... We are a special half-and-half breed.
Do you get the picture I'm painting yet? It's an awkward time for the Joshua generation. When I read about Joshua in the bible I can't help but to think how cool/awesome/amazing his anointing was, but I also can't help but realize .... "Man, that's awkward."
In the arts I see the awkwardness play out like this:
Often...not always...but often, you have an extremely skilled artist who their character/relationship with the Lord is strugglin'. Or you have someone who is EXTREMELY in love with Jesus has a deep relationship with Him but their skill and craft is strugglin'. Both have good intensions with the area they are strugglin' in and both usually are dissatisfied/disappointed because of the area they are struggling in.
Again this is not a Cookie-Cutter happening, but I think it is fairly common.
The extremely skilled artist who does truly love the Lord, has been able to train, train, train, but it has been lonely because a lot of the people who they trained with did not understand this "christian" thing. They also have not gotten to walk under deep discipleship because there was limited access in their artist world, limited access for mentorship - someone who could pour into them spiritually. Their environment hasn't been in a place where they were encouraged to focus on their character. Not that they have horrible character...But they haven't gotten to spend a good "dessert" season studying the word, in the prayer room, weekly even daily one-on-one spiritual mentorship. Why? Because they were busy honing their skill/craft, but lonely because their connection to Godly mentorship was extremely limited. Hear me now, it's not an all bad they were busy honing the gifts God had created within them....but they have had no option but to "neglect" their relationship with the Lord and Godly mentorship.
The extremely Jesus-lovin' artist has been blessed to spend hours in the prayer room, studying the bible, walking under weekly even daily one-on-one mentorship, but they too have experienced loneliness. Loneliness because even though they were surrounded with people who spiritually understood them and could pour into them in that way, they have had limited access to the people who could pour into their skill/craft at a higher level. Not that they have horrible technique in their craft...but they have not gotten to spend a good season training, training, training, why? Because they were busy doing ministry and spending time doing "Jesus-stuff", and their access to teachers in their craft was extremely limited. Hear me now, it's not an all bad thing that they were focusing on their relationship with the Lord and Godly mentorship...but they have had no other option but "neglect" honing the gifts that God has created them with.
-Insert: Faith without works is dead. Works without faith...is just work. -
This has been the beginnings of the Joshua generation, one half a person and the other half of the person.
But I think the two can become one. I believe that you can be a person who trains, trains, trains in your skill and in your character and relationship with the Lord at the SAME TIME. Simultaneous honing your craft/skill and honing your walk/relationship with the Lord. THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHOOSE. You can be studying the bible, while doing your tendus and/or scale progressions?!!! That's not craziness. We don't need to walk around as: half of me is a strong artist and this half of me is a struggling Jesus follower. Or this half of me is a strong Jesus follower and this half of me is a struggling artist. We can do BOTH. We can be fully understood. Fully understood as an artist and fully understood as a Jesus-lover. A person of FAITH and WORKS.
Joshua generation...you may feel awkward now but a day is coming...and the day is here. The Kingdom is coming and the Kingdom is here. What is right in front of you is not reality, let's walk in the Kingdom reality that says it is coming and it is here. Let's walk in that. Even though it's awkward. Let's walk in Faith and Works.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Trophies
As we drove through our neighborhood of oversized houses, I asked:
"They live in large houses, but are they actually living?"
The grande allure of it all, is truly enticing. "Thou shalt not envy..." is something I do and don't want to be reminded of as we drive through neighborhoods with mini-mansions, excessive amenities, and a car for everyone who's living at the house of driving age (so usually about 3-4 cars per household).
I don't want to be reminded of the whole "not envy" thing because honestly there's something human about me - maybe because I am human... - that enjoys the feeling of envy. Also, something in my human desire that thinks: "Yeah, that's success and that's what I need to aim for." It's nice to see your goals lined up for you in a physical format like a row of big houses.
But wait a minute...I WANT to be reminded of "though shalt not envy" because, come on! Get a grip. There's gotta be more to life than big houses, fancy-pantsy bells and whistles, and a cush-cush lifestyle. "Look at all my trophies in a nice little row on my mantle."
Your trophy may be a symbol of hard work, and absolutely, "whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might". No one is a fan of a lazy bum. We are suppose to work and work hard at whatever it is we are each created to do, but be sure to ask: work at what and to what costs?
Do your trophies, your accomplishments and your WORK define you?
What's the point to building up a trophy you'll never actually live in, because you don't have time to because you got to go to work to add more bling to your trophy that you'll never get to enjoy because wait you're always at work, working on...adding more work to your work so that you have an identity in your stuff........... (pause for reflection).
This means you no longer have an identity in who you were originally designed to be but now you're defined by the stuff you collect because of all your work: you're defined by craftsmanship, not of The Craftsman who created you.
My work often defines me. If I have no work, I'm miserable. If I have too much work, I am miserable. If I do a "good job" with a pat on the back, then I'm happy. If a do a bad job with a slap on the wrist, I'm miserable. That's called: A Person Defined By Work. I let work and the outcome of work (trophy or punishment) define who I am: happy or miserable. This is something I constantly fall prey to. It's something I'm working on. ;)
Yes whatever your hand finds to do work at it, work hard at whatever you're created to do. But don't let the work or the "trophies" of work define you. Work out of it being an extension of who are created to be. If persecution comes, let it be because you were doing what God created you to do and not because you had a "job" to do and didn't do it well.
Yes, in Book of Ephesians it says,"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might"
But I thought you should know the second part of that verse:
"for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going."
(oh snap!)
You (via your soul) are going to live forever, not your trophies. Be you, not your trophies.
Build your mansion in heaven, not your trophies on earth.
"They live in large houses, but are they actually living?"
The grande allure of it all, is truly enticing. "Thou shalt not envy..." is something I do and don't want to be reminded of as we drive through neighborhoods with mini-mansions, excessive amenities, and a car for everyone who's living at the house of driving age (so usually about 3-4 cars per household).
I don't want to be reminded of the whole "not envy" thing because honestly there's something human about me - maybe because I am human... - that enjoys the feeling of envy. Also, something in my human desire that thinks: "Yeah, that's success and that's what I need to aim for." It's nice to see your goals lined up for you in a physical format like a row of big houses.
But wait a minute...I WANT to be reminded of "though shalt not envy" because, come on! Get a grip. There's gotta be more to life than big houses, fancy-pantsy bells and whistles, and a cush-cush lifestyle. "Look at all my trophies in a nice little row on my mantle."
Your trophy may be a symbol of hard work, and absolutely, "whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might". No one is a fan of a lazy bum. We are suppose to work and work hard at whatever it is we are each created to do, but be sure to ask: work at what and to what costs?
Do your trophies, your accomplishments and your WORK define you?
What's the point to building up a trophy you'll never actually live in, because you don't have time to because you got to go to work to add more bling to your trophy that you'll never get to enjoy because wait you're always at work, working on...adding more work to your work so that you have an identity in your stuff........... (pause for reflection).
This means you no longer have an identity in who you were originally designed to be but now you're defined by the stuff you collect because of all your work: you're defined by craftsmanship, not of The Craftsman who created you.
My work often defines me. If I have no work, I'm miserable. If I have too much work, I am miserable. If I do a "good job" with a pat on the back, then I'm happy. If a do a bad job with a slap on the wrist, I'm miserable. That's called: A Person Defined By Work. I let work and the outcome of work (trophy or punishment) define who I am: happy or miserable. This is something I constantly fall prey to. It's something I'm working on. ;)
Yes whatever your hand finds to do work at it, work hard at whatever you're created to do. But don't let the work or the "trophies" of work define you. Work out of it being an extension of who are created to be. If persecution comes, let it be because you were doing what God created you to do and not because you had a "job" to do and didn't do it well.
Yes, in Book of Ephesians it says,"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might"
But I thought you should know the second part of that verse:
"for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going."
(oh snap!)
You (via your soul) are going to live forever, not your trophies. Be you, not your trophies.
Build your mansion in heaven, not your trophies on earth.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Thought of the day
Thought of the day:
I think it is possible that self-protection or self-preservation is a bit deceptive in that it is actually self-destructive. I'm not talking about healthy boundaries...I'm talking about imploding.
I don't think Jesus was/is an imploder. As for the time of the Gospel's, I think that He knew who he was and was ready to walk through anything (or on anything in the case of the Sea - Matt. 14). He wasn't afraid to embrace the crazy and awkward people and circumstances of the times. -Was there a day that went by where He wasn't smack in the middle of an awkward situation??- He wasn't intimidated by people's pressured questioning. He wasn't afraid to tell someone the truth then pointing out that they weren't walking in it. He wasn't self-protecting or self-preserving, even to the point of death. Yes, I do believe He had healthy-boundaries. He would send the disciples ahead of him or pull away by himself. He would pull away from the crowds to have an intimate time with His twelve close friends or with His even closer three amigos. He would spend time fueling up with the Father and then overflow to the some not so awkward and the some very awkward people around Him.
I am intimidated to walk smack into an awkward situation.
I am defensive towards loaded-questioning.
I am afraid of having to tell someone the truth, especially if they are not already walking in it. (I just feel like I'm the bad guy...at that point. But that's kind of backwards thinking.)
Yes, I have my moments of boldness. I even have my seasons of boldness. My husband would tell you I am living in boldness towards him everyday - haha ;)
But I want to be living a life of boldness.
Not implosion.
"The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion."
Proverbs 28:1
I think it is possible that self-protection or self-preservation is a bit deceptive in that it is actually self-destructive. I'm not talking about healthy boundaries...I'm talking about imploding.
I don't think Jesus was/is an imploder. As for the time of the Gospel's, I think that He knew who he was and was ready to walk through anything (or on anything in the case of the Sea - Matt. 14). He wasn't afraid to embrace the crazy and awkward people and circumstances of the times. -Was there a day that went by where He wasn't smack in the middle of an awkward situation??- He wasn't intimidated by people's pressured questioning. He wasn't afraid to tell someone the truth then pointing out that they weren't walking in it. He wasn't self-protecting or self-preserving, even to the point of death. Yes, I do believe He had healthy-boundaries. He would send the disciples ahead of him or pull away by himself. He would pull away from the crowds to have an intimate time with His twelve close friends or with His even closer three amigos. He would spend time fueling up with the Father and then overflow to the some not so awkward and the some very awkward people around Him.
I am intimidated to walk smack into an awkward situation.
I am defensive towards loaded-questioning.
I am afraid of having to tell someone the truth, especially if they are not already walking in it. (I just feel like I'm the bad guy...at that point. But that's kind of backwards thinking.)
Yes, I have my moments of boldness. I even have my seasons of boldness. My husband would tell you I am living in boldness towards him everyday - haha ;)
But I want to be living a life of boldness.
Not implosion.
"The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion."
Proverbs 28:1
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Original Roots
Originally I started this blog as a thought-processing tool and place to share revelations I felt were only from the Lord. In addition I thought it would be nice to post the "Tolås Happenings" so that people who generously support us in Missions would have a place to see little snippets / snapshots of where we are and what it's like.
Somewhere along the line I stopped writing so much of the revelations / thought processing themed posts. Not sure if this is because of busy-ness, SO MUCH MOVING (therefore posting more "happenings"), but I lean towards it being the weird concoction of pride / selfishness that has manifested into a weird clenching to inadequacy in the last year - year and a half.
Let me highlight that: Pride, selfishness into / because of feelings of inadequacy.
Imagine my surprise while recently reading Dan B. Allender's book Leading With A Limp:
"The moment of crisis exposes our perceived or actual incompetence, there will be a sense of fear and prospect of being found out. We all feel to some degree like a poseur..." (YOU MEAN I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE?!?!
A few things jump out at me, that make me question (one is already in all caps above),
Where am I experiencing crisis (ain't nobody dying around me...or is there?), and why am I feeling a sensation of inadequacy - that is making me hide behind pride/selfishness? (*ukk...*)
- Could it be the struggles of marriage, the hurts and wrongs of past relationships that effect what God meant to be holy and set apart?
- Could it be the struggle of seeing there is SO MUCH NEED in this world that I just can't help it all and it just makes me want to clam up into myself (poverty, injustice, racism, adultery, idoltry)?
- Could it be the state the Arts is in (self-enthralled, traced all the way through with lust), and seeing the glorious state the Arts could be?
- Could it be the fact that I feel so ill-equipped and unprepared for all that is yet to be done in this life?
- Could it be that I am NOT TRUSTING IN THE LORD?
What am I aspiring to.
If not the Lord, than what is worth my aspiration (nothing).
So many distractions in this world.
So many things things I think I want, I think I need.
So many things I've been told I can be: "you can be anything".
So many things I've told myself I must be.
I lean back to look at my past and see my failures.
I lean forward to see my future and see all that I'm not ready for (such a poseur).
I forget that once I've done everything to do to stand, I am to stand firm.
Stand firm in faith.
Stand firm in armor.
Stand firm in freedom.
Stand firm in Christ.
Stand firm in Now (His timing).
His grace is for Now, this Now, not that one, this one.
If I aspire to anything a-part of something else,
Then I aspire to nothing.
To aspire to nothing, is to death,
To aspire to nothing, is not life giving.
To aspire to Him, is giving up my life, and therefore getting life. (what?)
I've already gotten lost.
I might as well get lost in His journey and not be afraid to admit it.
The journey I am on is the Kingdom Quest.
The Kingdom Quest comes with the "extra parts included".
...but the Kingdom Quest is confusing.
The Quest is tough.
The Quest is selfless.
The Quest is exposing.
The Quest is not always a yellow brick road.
The Quest is not always abundant of provisions.
But in the Kingdom Quest there is always enough for Now, this Now, not that one, this one.
Staying on the straight and narrow, in a place of selflessness, and transparency of failures/inadequacy. The opposite of Selfishness and Pride.
It disrobes the enemy, and is like a lightening bolt to his gut. I think that's the battle I want to fight the one against principalities and powers...not the battle of self-absorption, self-preservation, and definitely not the distracting, unnecessary bickerings with others.
Oh Lord help me, battle against the flesh in a manner of ferociousness and of innocence.
Forgive me in the ways I fall short and aspire to other things.
I put my TRUST in You.
Somewhere along the line I stopped writing so much of the revelations / thought processing themed posts. Not sure if this is because of busy-ness, SO MUCH MOVING (therefore posting more "happenings"), but I lean towards it being the weird concoction of pride / selfishness that has manifested into a weird clenching to inadequacy in the last year - year and a half.
Let me highlight that: Pride, selfishness into / because of feelings of inadequacy.
Imagine my surprise while recently reading Dan B. Allender's book Leading With A Limp:
"The moment of crisis exposes our perceived or actual incompetence, there will be a sense of fear and prospect of being found out. We all feel to some degree like a poseur..." (YOU MEAN I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE?!?!
A few things jump out at me, that make me question (one is already in all caps above),
Where am I experiencing crisis (ain't nobody dying around me...or is there?), and why am I feeling a sensation of inadequacy - that is making me hide behind pride/selfishness? (*ukk...*)
- Could it be the struggles of marriage, the hurts and wrongs of past relationships that effect what God meant to be holy and set apart?
- Could it be the struggle of seeing there is SO MUCH NEED in this world that I just can't help it all and it just makes me want to clam up into myself (poverty, injustice, racism, adultery, idoltry)?
- Could it be the state the Arts is in (self-enthralled, traced all the way through with lust), and seeing the glorious state the Arts could be?
- Could it be the fact that I feel so ill-equipped and unprepared for all that is yet to be done in this life?
- Could it be that I am NOT TRUSTING IN THE LORD?
What am I aspiring to.
If not the Lord, than what is worth my aspiration (nothing).
So many distractions in this world.
So many things things I think I want, I think I need.
So many things I've been told I can be: "you can be anything".
So many things I've told myself I must be.
I lean back to look at my past and see my failures.
I lean forward to see my future and see all that I'm not ready for (such a poseur).
I forget that once I've done everything to do to stand, I am to stand firm.
Stand firm in faith.
Stand firm in armor.
Stand firm in freedom.
Stand firm in Christ.
Stand firm in Now (His timing).
His grace is for Now, this Now, not that one, this one.
If I aspire to anything a-part of something else,
Then I aspire to nothing.
To aspire to nothing, is to death,
To aspire to nothing, is not life giving.
To aspire to Him, is giving up my life, and therefore getting life. (what?)
I've already gotten lost.
I might as well get lost in His journey and not be afraid to admit it.
The journey I am on is the Kingdom Quest.
The Kingdom Quest comes with the "extra parts included".
...but the Kingdom Quest is confusing.
The Quest is tough.
The Quest is selfless.
The Quest is exposing.
The Quest is not always a yellow brick road.
The Quest is not always abundant of provisions.
But in the Kingdom Quest there is always enough for Now, this Now, not that one, this one.
Staying on the straight and narrow, in a place of selflessness, and transparency of failures/inadequacy. The opposite of Selfishness and Pride.
It disrobes the enemy, and is like a lightening bolt to his gut. I think that's the battle I want to fight the one against principalities and powers...not the battle of self-absorption, self-preservation, and definitely not the distracting, unnecessary bickerings with others.
Oh Lord help me, battle against the flesh in a manner of ferociousness and of innocence.
Forgive me in the ways I fall short and aspire to other things.
I put my TRUST in You.
 |
| Trust in the Lord with all your heart Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him And He will make your paths straight. proverbs 3. |
Monday, June 17, 2013
On the East Coast
We have had an interesting first month of Summer! ...why? Read all the way through the end.
We were blessed to have a little vacation/get away to Dallas for two nights. Simply to get away after an intense dance season.
We began teaching JAZZ and HIPHOP at Chara (Joy : Gladness) Christian Dance Studio
EAST COAST HERE WE COME
Now we are gearing up to teach at Christian Youth Arts Camp in the Outer Banks, North Carolina. It is called Release Worship Arts Camp and will be hosted by Liberty Church at the Emmanuel Camp. With an end of the week outreach on the beach - performing various material from the tracks the kids take during the week, like: music, mime, dance, etc. The invitation came through a friend - Dan - in the Ad Deum Dance Company. His best friend - who is a mime, is leading the camp. They were looking for dancers and Dan volunteered us, which is great because not only we will teach at this youth camp, but because it just so happens to be in the Outer Banks which means we will get to visit my family after the camp! We will be doing stuff with the camp from June 21st - June 29th. From the 30th - July 8th we will be spending time with my family.
http://sonchaser.com.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Trip To Two Cities
Encouragement.
Connections.
Encouragement.
Re-connections.
Did I mention encouragement?
If you followed my posts via instagram or facebook these past two weeks, you would have seen many pictures from New York and Kona, Hawai'i - from my "Trip To Two Cities". As of January 2013 I was given an invitation to come teach Repertoire in Kona at the Performing Arts school. I thought it over, prayed it over and found out it would fall in the time slot of Ad Deum's one week break from rehearsals/classes and would fall right next to Project Dance NYC. So I asked for God's provision through people, and quietly began sending out emails to specific people.
Boom! Money started coming in. In fact just over 100% of my budget came in. All through amazing people who are supporting Andreas and me. :) Thank you so much!
My schedule was packed.
In New York...
I took 6 dance classes so that I could bring back some inspiration/material for the dance classes I teach here in Houston. Two of the teachers that I took from were my "dance mentors" from my
2011 program at Broadway Dance Center, and they both gave me nothing but
encouraging words.
At Project Dance...
I also was helping out with Project Dance on Friday and Saturday - where so many of my worlds collided. Before we moved away from Brooklyn in 2011, I prayed an "unrealistic" little prayer saying, "God it would be so nice if I could have a little bit of Kona, little bit of NYC, and a little bit of Virginia all mixed together." My friend Kristin from Virginia, the Ad Deum dancers from Houston, Crystal and 3 other girls from Kona all met one another at Project Dance NYC (and of course NYC dancer friends were there)! Worlds collided! I couldn't have been flying higher.
God's hand of protection was over us at Project Dance's Saturday outdoor show which was in Time Square. The bombers from the horrible attack in Boston - little did we know - they had planned to attack Time Square that weekend, but were caught on their way to NYC. We were kept safe and sound, and able to spread some joy and hope to the huge audiences that came through for the show!
Visiting church...
I Visited my church in Brooklyn ("Church! of Park Slope"). Which to see the faces of people from our church warmed my heart, and walking down the streets Andreas and I lived made me long to be back - in a happy way.
On the last day in New York I got to meet up with my friend / old student / old classmate Angie - we spent time in Kona together, and she now lives in the City.
Kona, Hawai'i...
I taught repertoire from HeartBridge's 12 year running production "Coming Home". For roughly 4 hours a day I was working the new students hard in the dance combinations! Also trying to bring some encouragement on the side of WHY DO WE DANCE? The new students were so much fun, and I know God has good plans for each one of them.
I dropped in on the Schools "Culture Night" where they shared food from the various countries that they are all from. Some of the students shared with me how they came to Kona and why they love dance. It was so nice to hear stories from the students and encourage them however I could.
I was able to spend more time with the four girls who will open up a School of Dance Studies in Kona as of the Summer of this year.
Connecting with several of my students from 2011's Performing Arts
School (DTS) who had stayed on the Kona campus to continue in ministry
and schools. What amazing people they each are, and you can see the joy
of the Lord in them! I'm so proud of everything they are doing.
Also spent time with good friends and mentors Kenny, Maria, Uli, and Becky. Who were able to bring me some major encouragement.
This trip was just what the Doctor ordered. It was so good I want to just sit and soak in everything that happened.
Now back in Houston with Andreas have been walking through some of the up's and down's of marriage, and coming out in a stronger place and feeling God's hand all over our marriage healing broken pieces. Marriage is serious business, and oh so worth it! I love my husband.
Ad Deum and Ad Deum II have roughly two weeks until our BIG Spring shows, so we are rehearsing like crazy. Along with being busy at the various places we are teaching preparing for end of the season recitals. We love this team of dancers we are working with and to see each of them feel the Love and Encouragement that is from the Lord that goes beyond dance. What amazing times and opportunity we are in the midst of.
Connections.
Encouragement.
Re-connections.
Did I mention encouragement?
If you followed my posts via instagram or facebook these past two weeks, you would have seen many pictures from New York and Kona, Hawai'i - from my "Trip To Two Cities". As of January 2013 I was given an invitation to come teach Repertoire in Kona at the Performing Arts school. I thought it over, prayed it over and found out it would fall in the time slot of Ad Deum's one week break from rehearsals/classes and would fall right next to Project Dance NYC. So I asked for God's provision through people, and quietly began sending out emails to specific people.
Boom! Money started coming in. In fact just over 100% of my budget came in. All through amazing people who are supporting Andreas and me. :) Thank you so much!
My schedule was packed.
In New York...
 |
| Stayed with my friend/sister who I grew up with in Virginia! Kristin! |
 |
| Just after taking class with Jared Grimes. HipHop teacher in NYC. Thanks for the encouragement Jared! |
 |
| Friends I danced with in NYC while we lived there. Amanda and Colleen! Us at Project Dance. |
I also was helping out with Project Dance on Friday and Saturday - where so many of my worlds collided. Before we moved away from Brooklyn in 2011, I prayed an "unrealistic" little prayer saying, "God it would be so nice if I could have a little bit of Kona, little bit of NYC, and a little bit of Virginia all mixed together." My friend Kristin from Virginia, the Ad Deum dancers from Houston, Crystal and 3 other girls from Kona all met one another at Project Dance NYC (and of course NYC dancer friends were there)! Worlds collided! I couldn't have been flying higher.
 |
| Stella (from Ad Deum) and I helping teach the "flashmob" group dance to the Project Dance participants. |
 |
| Ad Deum performing in Time Square at Project Dance |
 |
| At church... |
 |
| Church friends and me at lunch at a restaurant on the same block as our old apartment. |
On the last day in New York I got to meet up with my friend / old student / old classmate Angie - we spent time in Kona together, and she now lives in the City.
Kona, Hawai'i...
I taught repertoire from HeartBridge's 12 year running production "Coming Home". For roughly 4 hours a day I was working the new students hard in the dance combinations! Also trying to bring some encouragement on the side of WHY DO WE DANCE? The new students were so much fun, and I know God has good plans for each one of them.
 |
| After teaching several hours of dance! Good job students! |
I dropped in on the Schools "Culture Night" where they shared food from the various countries that they are all from. Some of the students shared with me how they came to Kona and why they love dance. It was so nice to hear stories from the students and encourage them however I could.
I was able to spend more time with the four girls who will open up a School of Dance Studies in Kona as of the Summer of this year.
 |
| School of Dance girls from Kona (minus Sherisa) who I got to see in NYC and Kona! (this is us in NYC) |
 |
| hanging out with the 2011 students + Maddie who staffed last year |
 |
| catching up with the students from 2011 |
Also spent time with good friends and mentors Kenny, Maria, Uli, and Becky. Who were able to bring me some major encouragement.
 |
| Maria and Kenny invited me and the School of Dance girls over for dinner and final goodbye's before I had to catch my flight. |
This trip was just what the Doctor ordered. It was so good I want to just sit and soak in everything that happened.
Now back in Houston with Andreas have been walking through some of the up's and down's of marriage, and coming out in a stronger place and feeling God's hand all over our marriage healing broken pieces. Marriage is serious business, and oh so worth it! I love my husband.
Ad Deum and Ad Deum II have roughly two weeks until our BIG Spring shows, so we are rehearsing like crazy. Along with being busy at the various places we are teaching preparing for end of the season recitals. We love this team of dancers we are working with and to see each of them feel the Love and Encouragement that is from the Lord that goes beyond dance. What amazing times and opportunity we are in the midst of.
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