He is Sovereign, He is Author

There are things - at times - that I know God has asked me to do. OR a promise that God has put in place somewhere in the future of this life's journey. Yet, time passes, I wait, I wonder/imagine how it's going to come to fruition. Then somewhere in that waiting my impatient-humanity begins to boil. "We are our own worst critic." - In addition to my boiling impatience, a self-frustration begins to build at the fact that I am becoming impatient. Thus begins an inner-civil war! One side of me doubts, the other frustrated thinking, "How could I doubt!?" (Matt. 14:31) One side stakes a claim that the promise is too big, too impossible. The other side says, "Nothing is impossible." (Matt. 19:26). (These are the times I'm reminded of Cool Hand Luke's 2001 CD title "I fought against myself...and tore myself to pieces.").

What about the shepherd boy David, anointed king by the prophet Samuel while the current reigning king was still very much ALIVE!?

Saul, current reigning king of the great nation of Israel, has made poor and selfish decisions, abusing his authority as king. God tells the prophet Samuel it's time to anoint a new king - again regardless of of Saul still being alive and well! To everyone's surprise, including Samuel's, he is told to anoint the youngest of Jesse's eight sons a simple shepherd boy: David. The second he is anointed the Spirit of God - which has been acting more like a shield of protection - leaves Saul. Subsequently, Saul begins to be tormented and anguished by an evil spirit. The advisors and king call for a lovely-playing musician to be on standby; so that, whenever the king begins to be tormented the lyre shall be played and the king be relieved. Ironically, WHO IS THE HIRED MUSICIAN?: Shepherd boy, anointed king: David! (Initially, it's unbeknownst to Saul who David is.) David does nothing to intentionally intimidate Saul. However, with him living in close proximity, Saul soon discovers - through a series of exceptional events - that David is a threat to his kingship. Saul grows jealous of David, begins his own inner-civil war. One moment treating David like a son at his banquet table (1 Sam. 18:2; 20:25), the next moment hurling a spear to kill David (1 Sam. 18:11). This back and forth, went on for awhile until it became obvious that Saul had lost his inner-civil war to the "dark side" and wouldn't rest until David was dead.

What was Saul doing? He lost his anointing because he had selfishly reigned as king and became his own life's author. Now, AGAIN, he was being his own author. Out of jealousy, seeking to kill the new anointed king. Out of selfishness he was trying to change God's new anointed plan. In contrast to Saul, can you imagine David's inner battle? He nearly has an entire book dedicated to the script of his inner-civil war. Psalms! I can just imagine David thinking: "Am I king? Am I not king? Is Saul going to kill me? Is he not going to kill me? God, are you with me??".

I believe, a key difference between these two men is that Saul was after his own agenda with his own strength (1 Sam 13:13-14); while David was after God's agenda with all dependance on God ("A man after [God's] own heart."). We all have and will have our own inner battles, or as I call it our own "inner-civil war". Will we fight for God's promises to us on our OWN? (like Saul). OR will we lean and depend on God? Walking in perseverance, patience, and faith that He is the best and ALL-knowing Author? I do not want to be like the Jews of (about) 30 AC who tried to kill the Author (Acts 3:15), with self-righteousness, thinking I know best. I want to be like David. I want to be like Paul, "content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities." Because I can rest in knowing that I am not the Author of my life's story (if anything, I might be "co-author"). I can rest in knowing this promise reigns true:

"My grace is sufficient for you,

for my power is made perfect

in weakness"

-The Author

2 Cor. 12:9

hiding in the cave.

We've all felt it. We have felt the overwhelming sensation of defeat, hopelessness, the feeling and thoughts saying "You can't go on. Just give up." If there is anyone who hasn't felt anything of that nature, it is because they have been hiding away all their life. hmm...I hope you haven't been hiding. However, it's tempting. It's tempting to give up and hide.

The expression "the straw that broke the camel's back", we can all relate to it. It's odd how true that proverb is. Personally, I'll have many things in my head that I'm nearly constantly processing. I let things build up, thinking "It's OK I can handle it...", then BOOM. One little card is dealt and set on the top of it all, and the entire card-pyramid comes tumbling down.

Is it hopeless? Can I pick up all the pieces again, and puzzle them all together...again?

Look at Elijah in 2 Kings 19. It says Elijah ran for his life! He even left his side-kick behind. He ran and took shade under a tree and prayed he would simply die! Then he slept, and slept, and slept (I'm sure, in hopes he'd wake up, dead, and in heaven). An angel kept waking him up to feed him, but he would eat and go back to sleep. Then he got up and kept running away for 40 days, until he found a cave to hide in!

Why did he do all this? The queen had threatened to kill him. Sounds major. HOWEVER, in light of the events he had just observed...a death threat should have seemed ridiculous to him!! In the previous chapter, Elijah had challenged 450 baal prophets in a "dual" so to speak, in front of the eyes of an entire nation! The baal prophets prayed to their gods to bring fire down on their offering, but got nothing. Elijah asked God to send down his fire and it "burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the (surrounding) trench." Then the entire nation listened and obeyed Elijah's command to them. THEN Elijah told the king that rain was coming (after a difficult and long time of famine)...and guess what. The rain came!! In the midst of this heavy rain that's coming? The king is on his chariot trying to get out of the way before the heavy storm, and what does Elijah do? Tuck in his cloak, the power of God comes on Elijah, and he OUTRUNS THE CHARIOT OF THE KING all the way to another town.

After Elijah witnesses and is the star player in the power of God in these multiple occasions, he should be virtually fearless and full of confidence. Yet one threat from someone, and he runs, prays to die, sleeps, continues to run, and hides.

The best part of the whole story really lies in chapter 19, which you need to read fully for yourself.

God meets him in the cave (because, let's be serious...there's no hiding from God).
"And the word of the LORD came to him: 'What are you doing here, Elijah?"
I wasn't there and can't say for sure, but in my imagination I can hear those words coming from God with such, compassion. Yes there may be a sternness as well, but I hear a compassion and love. If you read this chapter you'll see, God shows up, in a more powerful way than the fire over the sacrifice. He meets Elijah and says get up and go this way I have planned for you. There is hope.

THERE IS HOPE.

To live

" 'OK, then let's think about the start of the Christian church. There's no question it began shortly after the death of Jesus and spread so rapidly that within a period of maybe twenty years it had even reached Caesar's palace in Rome. Not only that, but this movement triumphed over a number of competing ideologies and eventually overwhelmed the entire Roman empire.'

'Now, if you were a Martian looking down on the first century, would you think Christianity or the Roman Empire would survive? You probably wouldn't put money on a ragtag group of people whose primary message was that a crucified carpenter from an obscure village had triumphed over the grave. Yet it was so successful that today we name our children Peter and Paul and our dogs Caesar and Nero!' " -excerpt from Case For Christ by Lee Strobel pages 343-344 in Strobel's interview with J. P. Moreland Ph.D.

It's interesting how powerful the Bible, the name of Jesus, and the Truth (Jn 14:6) can be. There's an overwhelming feeling that washes over most individuals, whether it is a sense of fear (because of lack of knowledge of what it all means) or a bit of excitement (because you have experienced the evidence of the power). There's various reasons for the emotions, feelings, and process the brain takes when Sovereign-powerful statements are spoken. If we each knew, with deep revelation that power...what a difference our daily lives would be.

Where would you be? What would you be doing? Where would you be going? Who would you meet? If you truly walked in that reality - the reality.

The reality being that there is a God. You have the opportunity to obey, love and believe in Him through Christ. Within those bounds, you are given a protection and guidance through the Holy Spirit that is beyond the "rational" human mind. Thus, having experiences in life that are amazingly unreal!

Ah, to live.

In honor of a friend

I had to post this up. The above is a billboard, yes like a road side billboard in honor of a friend.

This is for my dear friend Adam from Middle School and High School - and my bro, Jeremy's, best friend. Adam was killed a few weeks ago. It was heartbreaking, shocking, and eye-opening when I heard the news.

You never anticipate such an event. A healthy, strong, young FRIEND being killed while trying to work on his car broken down on the side of the rode. Regardless, he really did LIVE life.

Here's a snippet from his memorial website (www.ripnsurf.com):
"... It is for this reason that his family, friends and coworkers could not think of a better way of honoring this young man than erecting one final billboard in his honor. If you've seen the billboard on I-70 and Wadsworth, you have experienced just a glimpse of the man we knew and loved. LOVE, LAUGH and LIVE MORE. It was Adam's way of life, a motto he would have approved of."

A most over due blog

Not the most glamorous photography skills on display here. I just whipped out my cam phone as we were rushing through the midst of chaotic NY Time Square on Tuesday afternoon.






Upon celebration of Andreas getting that highly sought after Green Card to "dreamland" America, I was asked "What are you going to do next?" Jokingly my response was "We're going to DisneyWorld!!" I wish! (I've never been. I'm only a born & raised American East Coaster who's never been to DisneyWorld. Vs. my Norwegian husband who's whole family and him have enjoyed the shrieks and thrills of D-World years ago. Go figure...)

What is really next? Scouting out our move to NYC! We feel it's time to "sharpen the tools God's given us" especially in dance training. Broadway here we come! We also really hope to network with other Christian ministries in NY. We plan to move there for one year.

Wanna talk about leap of faith? Wanna talk about impossible without God? Give me a ring... ;)